Informational!

So I went to the seminar last night. Keith was supposed to go with me, but changed his mind, so I invited my friend Taylor along. She learned a lot. Most of that stuff I kind of already knew. I think everyone did. We were probably all there for the raffle prize: an IVF cycle free of physician fees. Long story short, a lady whose insurance covers SIX CYCLES won it. How lame is that? And greedy! I wouldn't even have entered if I already had coverage. But what's done is done.

Dinner with our PS (potential surrogate) got moved to next week. I was a bit bummed, but still had a good night anyways. I'm really anxious to talk about some things with her. Anxious in a good way though. I know that it's still not 100% sure that my uterus is completely useless, but I have a feeling it is, so I want to be good friends with our PS. And speaking of surrogates, is there a better way to say that "we're going to USE a surrogate?" It feels so wrong to say. Like we're only using her for her uterus. I mean, I know we are using her ute, but I also hope that we could be friends. So what's better than saying we're going to USE a surrogate?

Anyways, I spoke with my doctor about my huge cysts and asked if I could have them drained. He said he'd do me one better and remove them completely, membrane and all. He really freaked me out a little because I reminded him that this GIGANTOR cyst (and his slightly smaller buddies) have been hanging around on lefty for a good long time. He told me that should the ovary twist, if it hasn't already, it will cut off blood supply and become necrotic. In other words it will die in there and WHAT IF I HAVE A ZOMBIE OVARY?!?!?! So instead of just having a hysteroscopy, I'll be having a laparoscopy at the same time. Kill two birds with one stone. Or scalpel. Or whatever. The point is that I won't have to pay facility fees twice, won't have to pay for anesthesia twice, and so on and so forth. Still expensive as all hell though.

In the mean time, Keith will have his semen analysis done, and I'll have some blood work drawn. Since I don't currently have a cycle, I'll be put on birth control for one or to months, then during the withdrawal week on day three, I'll have regular baseline bloods drawn. I have to be honest, I'm terrified of these results. All of them. I have no idea how I'll comfort Keith (or myself, for that matter) if the SA is bad. And what if my eggs are bad? I guess that one wouldn't be the end of the world, but still. I'm worried. And with the luck I've had so far, I think I have every right to be worried over here.

Other than that, I think it may be finally safe to say that we're getting a new bread route. The one that runs through our actual town instead of the town that's thirty minutes away from here. This is good news for us. It means we will make more money. It means we can get more done with all of this fertility business. It's going to be several weeks before anything is actually final, but once it is, I can have my surgery.

That's it for tonight, folks.

A Birthday and A Meeting

Keith turned THIRTY on Thursday! I'm guessing it doesn't feel much different than 29, but who knows. We celebrated (um, too much) last Saturday. And we're going out for karaoke tonight too. It was Keith's idea, but I have a feeling it's probably more for me.

This upcoming Tuesday I'm going to a patient seminar at Houston Fertility Institute in Beaumont. They're raffling off an IVF cycle free of doctor fees. That's about half off. Keith was supposed to go with me, but instead my friend Taylor is going with me. That's cool. We can goof off that way!

Afterwards we (or maybe just I) will be going to Cafe Del Rio to meet a potential surrogate! Nothing really concrete yet, more of just a casual meeting to talk about what a surrogacy entails. I am already acquainted with her, but I'm hoping that we can get to know each other more and become good friends also.

Taking this step feels SO surreal. I know it's still a while off because things are expensive, but just getting together with her is a step in the right direction.

Wish me luck!

Short and Sweet Quickie!

Just a quick update. Going to a patient seminar at HFI's Beaumont office.  (That's our clinic, btw.) They're giving out information on all of the options related to ART, a free dinner, and raffling off an IVF cycle free of doctor fees. That's half off! Can't pass up a chance at that.

Even though we lost my sister as a surrogate candidate, we've gained two more possible candidates. That brings our total to two, fyi. No real news yet though. I still need to talk to Keith about it all. I'm not going to post about them yet because doing that might get my hopes up too much.

And speaking of Keith, it's his 30th birthday on Thursday! I think he has some pretty mixed emotions about it though. I think maybe he thought he'd have a child by now. I thought so, too.

That's all for now.

Back at Square One.

Yep. Here we are. I talked to my sister a little more.

She isn't going to be our surrogate after all. Probably not our egg donor either. I may not need DE anyways though.

The point is that we're right back where we were when we first found out we'd likely need a surrogate. (Side note: was that really only a couple of weeks ago? It feels like a lifetime already.) After she thought about it some more, she remembered how tough her pregnancy with Bella Grace was. Early labor, bed rest, frequent bladder and UTI infections. She said maybe in a few years.

I can't say I blame her after all of that, but I'm We're still really disappointed. We've already waited a few years. We're ready. I'd never seen Keith so ready. I'm not sure if he'll bottle all of that up again or not, but I'm reassured just knowing that he might actually want this as much as I do. I mean, I know he does. He just doesn't show it like I do.

So. What next? First, we need more money. Second, I need a hysteroscopy and something done about these huge ovarian cysts. Aspiration, maybe? Then it's all about finding our surrogate and going with the process from there.

Did I mention money? Lots of money? Because yeah, that. Does anyone have several tens of thousands of dollars laying around?  Or maybe you know someone who wants to be my baby mama for next to nothing?

Yeah. Me neither.

Tentative Decisions

So we've talked and talked. We've chosen surrogacy.

My sister volunteered to be our egg donor/surrogate. Technically that's called traditional surrogacy. We're ready. More than ready. Keith wants to do this right away. I'm not surprised though. He'll be thirty this month. A big milestone. I'll be 23. I thought I'd have at least one kid by now. I remember always wanting to have 2 by the time I was 25. Ha.

Anyways, we're mostly just waiting for my sister to get things straightened out on her end and let us know for sure if this is a go. If she's changed her mind already, we'll try to start working towards a gestational surrogacy with someone else.

Here's hoping that we can get the ball rolling and that things go semi smoothly.

Not The Best News

I guess I should give an update. It's been so long!

We had our first RE appointment two days ago. Just a consultation, but it didn't go as I'd hoped. Remember the D&C I had in 2010? I haven't had a period since then. My doctor is worried that there's extensive scarring in my uterus. I've been worried about the same thing, to be honest. But he mentioned that it may even be so bad that the front and back walls are fused together.

What does this mean? In a nutshell: it means we're probably screwed. It's not a for sure diagnosis. I'll have to have another hysteroscopy to check it out. It may be fixable through surgery with microscissors, but after reading about pregnancy complications after scarring and surgery, I'm not really sure I want to go that route.

I don't feel very hopeful for the results of the scope, to be honest. I'd say we're probably looking at surrogacy or adoption to become parents. It's all really a lot to think about. I guess that's all for now though.

Better!

Good news! Our marriage has survived and we're both feeling very optimistic about the future. We're trying to sell our bread route and buy a new, better one. We're thinking about jumping back into trying for a baby. We have three cats, y'all! They're our babies for now and we both adore them.

Anyways, it's been fourteen months since I cycled. Nothing has seemed to help. I have high prolactin and problematic cysts. Apparently nobody thinks it's enough to prescribe me any kind of medication. I've asked for parlodel for my prolactin, but got a no. I've asked for metformin to help regulate some things, and got a no. So now what? I'm stuck doing a fourth provera challenge, and honestly I'm not feeling too optimistic about it.

I'm still absolutely in love with our house. I can't help but look around and be incredibly thankful that we're more fortunate than my parents were.

My sister had her third baby. A girl, Isabella. We are over our differences and are close again. I can't even tell you how happy I am about it.

Hopefully I can get back into blogging again, because it's a good way to express myself and relieve stress. Well, that's all for now. I'll try to get back to y'all soon!