Butt Hurts.

Not because of anything important or weird or anything. My butt hurts because I got my new exercise bike and it's like sitting on/straddling a boulder for 35 minutes. Horrendous! Love the workout it offers though. I really wanna use it tonight, but my ass will probably fall off tomorrow if I do. Plus, it hurt to sit today. Not cool because I really love sitting. Maybe there is some kind of correlation between my love of sitting and the bigness of my butt? Psh, yeah right!

Anyways, I'm wondering if I can replace the seat on the exercise bike with a regular, more awesome bike seat. If not, then I'll get one of those cool gel covers. I shall google it later.

Our friends came to visit from an hour away on Saturday night. I got a little irritated because they were two hours late, but they made up for it by being fun and awesome. Also, I may have gotten really drunk, discussed my fertility with a guy I only just met, and then puked my guts up until five in the morning. Fun times.

I officially only have three days of work left. I feel so....I don't know. Mixed emotions, I guess. Not necessarily all negative or bad emotions. Just lots of things going on in my head right now.

Thursday will make one week since stopping Provera. Still nothing. Someone suggested parsley tea to help things along a little. I bought some today and I've already had one cup. It's not bad at all. Then again, I LOVE herbal teas, so I started out assuming that I'd like it. You're supposed to drink like 3 or 4 cups a day, so I'll probably have just one more before I head to bed later.

I've hit a weight loss plateau at about 6 pounds away from my goal. I guess that's not so bad, and pretty impressive since I'm dealing with PCOS. But for me, it's not losing weight I have a problem with. It's gaining. I can lose it pretty easily if I set my mind to it, but I also gain easily. Especially if I don't watch what I eat and follow what my stomach says instead of my head. Refined carbs, sugars, and dairy are badnewsbears for PCOSers. Too bad those are all the really delicious, sinfully indulgent, midnight snacky, tasty foods, right?

My friend is getting married on Friday, and we're supposed to have a low key bachelorette dinner tomorrow. Rhonda and I went half-sies on a gift for her, and I'm very satisfied with it. The friend is actually getting married at the same place I did. Kinda cool. I'm not really sure what I'm wearing, but I bought a little sweater-but-not-really-a-sweater thingy to wear. It's like a half jacket with short sleeves and a lace back. I don't know what it's really called. So either I'll use it to spice up an old sun dress, or to update one of my old cute tops.

But as much as I'd love to stay here and just ramble on about little things, I really need to work out. See you guys later!

Awesome Things This Week

This week has been pretty good so far. Several things that I'm happy about.

First off, the best part. Tonight was my last dose of Provera, for what I hope to be a very, very long time! Maybe that's unrealistic, but I don't care. Gotta have hope sometimes, right? Anyways, I'm very glad of this for a few reasons. Provera makes me super mean and irritable. I've really been trying to resist it, but it's so hard! It also makes my boobs REALLY ridiculously sore, and that's no fun. Thank goodness for supportive bras. But the worst thing about it is that it gives me pimples. But not just any pimples. Horrible ones. Luckily I only had to take Provera for five days this time, so I only got three monstrosities. Still very uncomfortable. Especially because one is right on my forehead. My forehead is big and already draws enough attention, I don't need a big red bump on it to catch peoples' eyes.

Secondly, I get my exercise bike this weekend! You have no idea how excited I am! I'm so looking forward to some variation in my routine. I wish I had more to say about it, but whatever.

And finally, I've discovered some really cool products this week.* Most of you have probably already discovered them. I'm behind the trends. So what.

Tresemme Dry Shampoo. Ok, this stuff is seriously cool. My hair is naturally very baby fine and thin. I also happen to have oily skin. Not a good combination. So even if I use the bare minimum of conditioner (or even none at all) by around 5ish, my hair is starting to look pretty limp and just plain blah. But the dry shampoo really perks it right up again, especially if I add a little volumizing finishing spray. I'm already a big fan.

Nutella. I know, it's been around for like, forever, right? Yeah. Never tried it until a couple days ago. DELICIOUS! Kinda high in calories for just 2tbsp, but still very tasty. Good with bananas, strawberries, on bagels. Things like that.

Lastly, Celsius energy drinks. Ama-za-zing. I still think the can design is suuuper lame, but it works as far as energy goes. Peps me up for hours. The full can (12oz) makes up one serving, and it's only 10 calories and 2 carbs. Very diet friendly.

So there ya have it. Cool things about this week. I know this is a pretty boring post, but at least I wrote it, right?


*I purchased these products with my own money. I did NOT receive any compensation for my opinions on their effectiveness or qualities.

Where To Begin?

Let's start with this: You all know that Friday I put in my two week's notice at work and then ate at Casa Ole that night. Well, as some of you may also know, I've been really wanting an exercise bike for some variation in my cardio sessions. Saturday morning I was getting ready for work, and for some reason decided to grab some cash on my way out the door. Now, this is odd in itself because I really NEVER EVER EVER carry cash. Just so happens I grabbed $30. As I'm leaving work that evening, my boss beckons me over to the place next door. The lady there was selling an exercise bike for $25! And it's compact and in very good shape, although slighly out dated. I love it though. And really, how much more serendipitous could it get? Not much more, in my opinion.

We went out of town to Anahuac Saturday night and stayed till Sunday afternoon. We also made a pit stop in Beaumont, as usual. Througout all of this, I really just stopped my diet and exercise routine. It made for an enjoyable weekend, although I did put a couple of pounds back on. And I'm not exactly all upset over it either, which is a nice change. I started back in with my healthy habits today. My knee is killing me, for some reason. I may have to invest in an ace bandage or light knee brace. As for the workout, it felt super easy. I'm not sure if it's because my body is used to it, or if it's because I drank one of those Celsius energy drinks with my dinner. Those things have the lamest can design. It proclaims that Celsius burns calories. I don't necessarily believe that, but it's jam packed with lots of great vitamins and minerals, plus the entire 12 ounce can only has 10 calories and 2 carbs. So worth it.

Someone asked me why I'm dieting and exercising because I'm not exactly what anyone would call fat. Well, mostly because if I don't work to stay healthy and fit, PCOS will eff me all up. Weight gain/loss has a lot to do with hormones and insulin levels, both of which are royally screwed up with PCOS. A healthy diet and exercise routine can help keep that under control, which is mostly what I'm trying to do. Yes, I have a goal weight that I'd be thrilled to reach. I also realize that it may not be realistic with my crappy system. Another side of the issue is that everyone feels comfortable at a certain weight. I feel ok with mine right now, but again five pounds lost wouldn't hurt my feelings. And besides that, I can't keep gaining and losing the same 20 pounds like I have been over the past year. It's hell on my body and hormones, not to mention giving me stretch marks, which is not cool. So what is the harm in trying to keep those 20 pounds at bay? I do not believe I am anywhere near unhealthy, nor do I believe I will ever develop any kind of eating disorder. I love food, and I know how much worse off I'd be if I had a disorder than I am now. So do not fear for my health. Except maybe my reproductive health, cuz it sucks anyways.

Dudes, Keith bought me a gift today! He said it's because I've been so helpful to him lately. I also think it's because I told him I was feeling a little under appreciated lately. I know he appreciates me, just like I appreciate him. I think we're both stressed, not to mention I'm on hormone pills. But anyways, he bought me the Sims 3 Deluxe and the Barnacle Bay expansion pack. Bad news though. The Barnacle Bay disc wasn't in the box at all. Stupid game theives. So now I have to go to Walmart tomorrow and explain to customer service that they have crappy loss prevention and exchange my game. I guess it could be worse, somehow. Either way, I'm still really excited about the games, and it was such a sweet gesture on Keith's part. But really, a nice bouquet of tulips and help folding the clothes would've been just as nice!

In reproductive news, I'm done with Premarin for now. I'm on Provera day 3, with two days left. Hopefully within the next ten days I'll have a period. I will be so upset if it doesn't come. And before anyone asks, no, there is absolutely no way that I am pregnant. None. Nada. Anyways, if it still doesn't come, I have to go in for tons more blood work for all kinds of stuff, and probably some kind of other tests, possibly including an HSG or laparoscopy. This will be expensive. Pray that my period comes, please. Also, I'm really eager to start Clomid. I'll be disappointed if it gets put off yet again. Because seriously, I have everything I need. I'm so prepared. I have my BBT thermometer, LH (ovulation) strips, Preseed, pregnancy tests, everything. I even have five Premarin left to take after the Clomid to further help my lining. I even have natural progesterone cream to help after ovulation. So come on, period! I couldn't be more prepared for this. Bring it, Mother Nature!

That's all for tonight. I'll catch you all later!

Quitter

So today, I quit my job. Kind of. I'll actually be done working there in two weeks. It was a really tough decision for me to make, even though it's something that's been stewing in my head and heart for a while now.

Let me start off by saying it's not because I hate my job. I like the people I work with. Hell, I love some of em, and it's a super easy job. The reason I finally decided to go through with it is this: I just feel like I've been spreading myself so thin here lately. I know I haven't been giving 100% in any area of my life, and I don't like that. Usually I like to do my best at everything, and lately it just hasn't been going that way.

I do so much stuff. Lots of stuff with the route, then my job, then housework, errands, trying to get (and stay) fit and healthy, dealing with infertility and treatments. It's all just been adding up and adding up, and today was kind of my breaking point. I've been in the warehouse every morning this week, and this morning was the worst. (It's really because I took a whole sleeping pill last night, plus my Premarin. In my defense, I didn't know I'd have to work this AM.) Anyways, it just felt like the worst morning ever. It was so hard to get up and go to my regular job, and I just realized that I can't keep the hours I've been keeping and stay sane or rested at all. I just got to the point where I can't do it anymore.

Not only that, but Keith really needs my help right now. We're trying to get a different route, plus the new handheld system. It blows. But things really need to be just about perfect and the stores need to be looking good because you never know who is gonna come and check out your shelves. So basically I'll be helping him focus more on that. I'll start to work with him Mondays, Thursdays, and Saturdays. And of course loading up on the other mornings. Right now I feel pretty good about this decision. I think it will be nice to be able to focus on one line of work.

And this infertility crap? Yeah. I don't like it. And yes, I somewhat used it as part of my reason for putting in my notice. We're starting to really get into treatments and more pills and whole lots of things. Things that make me at least 10 times crazier than normal, and if I'm gonna be forced to deal with The Crazy, I'd rather do it in the privacy of my own home. Better than inflicting it on the general populace/elderly of Jasper, Texas right?

What it all boils down to is that I really did feel bad about doing it, even though it simultaneously feels like a big weight off of my shoulders. I feel bad knowing that my boss is gonna have to find someone to take my place. I feel bad leaving my friends. Cuz everyone knows I only have two, and they're my coworkers Rhonda and Kellie. (And I'm not even sure that they like me very much, but that's beside the point mostly.) I felt so nervous all day. It took forever just to work up the courage to have that conversation with my boss. And then when I finally did, my face turned all red like it always does and I almost cried. Not because I thought he would be mad or yell or something, I just don't like doing that kind of thing. I felt like I was letting him down. That's not a good feeling.

But the good news is that we went to Casa Ole for dinner and I ate away all of my feelings of anxiety and stress, diet be damned!

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So, I was reading an article on Cracked.com about cliches, and this one really hit home. I hate the saying that everything happens for a reason. Lots of people use that one when they have no idea what else to say when told that a friend is infertile. Horrible thing to say. Here's the author's opinion on the saying:

#1. Everything Happens For a Reason

What It's Supposed To Mean:

All this suffering is part of a cosmically divine plan.

Why I Hate It:

I suppose this cliche wouldn't be intolerable if it were merely meant to be taken literally. Everything does happen for a reason. People die young because they get hit by trains or get cancer. People are maimed and disfigured in wars because of bombs. I mean, if that's all this cliche were trying to convey then it would just be vaguely annoying. You'd assume the speaker were just some mental deficient who says things like "water is wet," "ice cream is yummy," or "Tosh is funny."

But the annoying thing about this phrase is that the speaker believes he/she has some inside track to God or Fate or whatever mystic unseen hand controls the universe. As if there is a power and that power decided there was an actual reason to inflict a newborn baby with Trisomy 18 or have a woman get gang raped. And given the existence of this rational force --that operates only with justification and reason-- who are you to question why someone ravaged your wife, or blew apart your son, or took your leg? This cliche insists that either happy endings always exist ("see, they never would have found that tumor, unless they were repairing that machete wound to your abdomen") or if there is no happy ending for you then your suffering was part of some greater plan that benefited another ("don't be sad that you were imprisoned for twenty years by a racist jury for a crime you didn't commit, I mean, think about the valuable lesson you've taught us about bias in criminal juries!) I'm not saying all suffering is random and pointless, or that nothing good can ever come out of a bad situation, but the arrogance that comes from the belief that tragic events are always justified as part of a larger plan is just intolerable. I don't know why bad things happen, but I do know that no one who throws this cliche around knows either. So to everyone keeping this miserable expression alive, please leave people to their misery and save your cliche for yourself the next time you're walking in the woods and step into a bear trap after getting shot in the eye by a drunken hunter.

Read the full article on Cracked.com here: Five Popular Sayings That Make You Look Like an Idiot

Look Who's at it Again!

Me! I'm blogging again, so be proud of me. Or don't. I can't tell the difference anyways.

I won't say that there's a whole lot to talk about, because there isn't. I skipped working out today and feel so weird and guilty. I don't like it. I really hope it doesn't put more weight on my butt like it did on Monday. Can I please just stay the same weight tomorrow?

I'm also looking for a cheap exercise bike. If I can't find a good used one for a cheap price, I might just break down and buy the one from Walmart for $99. It looks like a good deal, and it's not a huge monstrosity, so that's good. My boss knows someone who is getting rid of one, he just has to ask the price this weekend. It'll probably be expensive, with my luck. But anywho, it's not that I don't like the gazelle, I just want a little variation in my cardio routine.

I was searching online for Irish stew recipes, and came across one called tomato and pepper stew. It's a very simple recipe, and it doesn't take five hours to make like all of the other ones that sounded good. I'm not sure how authentically Irish it is, but it turned out nicely, so I'll probably make it again in the future. Only next time I'll add some beef tips or something since it's made up of only veggies, and Keith is a meat eater. We also had potato bread with it, and it was awesome. I haven't had bread like that in a while. Almost a month!

Anyways, I guess that's it for today. Just wanted to make sure I blogged so that maybe I can get back into my everyday routine. Later!

Lots of Stuff to Discuss

First of all, I am a terrible blogger. My page views have dropped significantly. I haven't responded to any review opportunities or comments. I'm sorry. I promise to try and do better. We've just had a lot going on lately.

I'm happy to announce that I have devised a genius plan. It seems my dose of Premarin is until the 22nd, not the 21st like I thought. Since I'm taking two a day, I'm going to take one the morning of the 20th and save the last five pills. So the 21st I'll start provera. That will last 5 days. Then I'll wait for AF. On the 5th day of AF, I'll start clomid. That will last 5 days. Once I finish clomid, I'll take those last 5 Premarin for the next 5 days since my lining is thin. This is a pretty common protocol with lots of clomid patients with thin linings. I'm not sure why my doctor didn't suggest it. Anyways, after ovulation I'll use my natural progesterone cream until AF comes (or for a long time if she doesn't).

I want to do everything I can to help this work. Especially because my health insurance got canceled and I'm not sure how much my doctor charges without insurance.

Diet and weight loss is going ok. I'm kinda upset that I can't veer from my diet even a little bit, though. For instance, Monday I was 8 pounds from my goal. That night I had a burger, taco, and shake from Jack In The Box. Now I'm 10 pounds from my goal. That means I gained two pounds. I know that's a small amount in the long run, but it's so discouraging to go from saying "I've lost 11 pounds!" to "I've lost 9 pounds." Double digits to just a single digit because of one crummy meal. That doesn't seem very fair.

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Had a little facebook mishap yesterday. I posted a status about a coworker and a friend responded. It wasn't necessarily offensive, but the comment did upset me. Now there is a whole big mess going on about it.

The Status:
"My coworker keeps shoving her phone in my face to look at her newest grandchild. I'm ready to bitch slap her. I'm tired of her and her fertile family. I wish more people understood the pain of infertility, or would at least respect my feelings and quit shoving babies in my face."

Her comment:
(Mind you, this is not verbatim. She deleted it, so I couldn't copy/paste.)
"Krissy, you can't have that attitude all the time. People are just proud and want to show off their loved ones/relatives. [something else along those lines] You just need to roll with things. Let what will happen happen."

My comment:
(Maybe not the best response, but I'm all sensitive due to hormone pills.)
 I can have that attitude with her because I've told her repeatedly how it makes me feel. People brush off infertility because they don't understand it or even try to. It's not about relaxing. I have a hormone disorder, so rolling with it wi...ll get me nowhere. I understand that people want to show off their kids, but it doesn't make it any less painful on my part. How would you feel if your divine right to bear children as a woman was taken from you? It's not a good feeling. I don't enjoy struggling with the fact that my husband is still not a father. I don't enjoy pumping myself full of medicines and hormones to have a chance at the joys of motherhood when 16 year olds get knocked up by accident all the time. So yes, I would say that I'm bitter and angry about it, but that's my right. I don't want to be forced to look at her grandkids after I've asked her respectfully to stop.

Now, I don't think I said anything mean here. Maybe I was a bit over zealous, but we all get that way sometimes. Let me explain why her comment upset me.

(This is the exact message I sent another girl after the first one deleted her comment.)
It's not that the comment was super insensitive necessarily. It's just that I'm on a bunch of hormones and I'm tired of people telling me basically that my infertility is nothing to worry about.
The comment basically said that I shouldn't feel that way because people are just proud and like to show off their loved ones.
I understand that and I don't think there is anything wrong with that. It's unavoidable on facebook, but that's fine. I can choose to skip over those posts. But this lady is always shoving her phone in my face showing me tons of baby pictures. I've explained to her that I'm infertile and that even though they're cute, a lot of days I just don't feel up to sitting around staring at what I can't have. She doesn't care and isn't respectful of my feelings because she doesn't believe infertility exists.
The second part of the comment was telling me that I need to relax and roll with it and let what's going to happen happen.
That irritated me because it's not that easy for some of us, and being reminded that I don't work right like everyone else really sucks. We did close to a year of relaxing and just going with it and it got us nowhere. We've tried many many things, had procedures and for what? All we have to show for it is debt.
I'm not saying it'll never happen for us, it's just been a long hard road over the past two years, and it doesn't seem like it's getting any easier.

The first girl got all upset because she thought I was bad mouthing her to the second girl, so now I have to explain that I understand that she wasn't trying to upset me, but that it did and why. I showed her exactly what I said to the other girl as my explaination and proof that I wasn't being nasty and didn't even say her name in the message. I also took the opportunity to show her Resolve.org's infertility ettiquette article. I think she still all butt hurt over the situation and is offended that I was upset at her comment. I'm really not sure how to make it any clearer to her that I understand that she wasn't trying to be hurtful. It's my stupid infertile brain that sees things like that and gets upset, even if that's not how people mean things. She said that maybe from now on she should just keep her comments to herself. That's not what I intended, but if it will help end this kind of conflict, then maybe it's for the best.

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We had a bunch of higher-ups in the warehouse this week. We got a new system for the handhelds and it's all confusing, so they were there to help out. But then we found out that the sales director from Houston was coming to Jasper, so three more guys showed up and cleaned the warehouse top to bottom. I thought that was pretty neat. Especially since we really never have the time to clean up and do an awesome job like they did. But maybe now we can just do upkeep cleaning and it won't get so bad ever again. I'm hoping that now that more people have seen how crappy the warehouse really is, we'll finally get the repairs they've been promising us for almost two years now.

They also had a talk with us and the other guy and let us know that whatever we know we're not going to use, does not need to be left in the warehouse. That's a relief. We usually just save restaurant things and snack cakes, but sometimes we see stupid things sitting around. And they usually sit there for a week or so taking up space until Keith and I finally have to send them back to the bakery. Maybe that won't happen so much anymore. They also told the other guy that he needs to start helping break down the load. That's a HUGE relief. It's a lot of work, and I don't find it fair that it's been just us doing it the whole time, especially since we don't get paid extra for it and we're not the ones who wanted it done in the first place. So I guess my point is that I'm glad that maybe the work will be a little more evenly distributed than it has been.

And while I'm on the topic of bread routes, we're still waiting on news from Cleveland. One of the routes was sold, so that's out. Another route is in question, but there are legal issues involved, so there's no telling how long it will take to hear any news about it. Basically the owner of the route passed away, had no will, so everyone is trying to figure out who now owns/will own it, and if it can be bought/sold. It's all kind of up in the air right now. The guy that's over that area was coming through town and decided to stop and look at Keith's stores. The good news is that he told Keith that he liked the way everything looked. The bad news...well I guess there really isn't bad news right now. And that's good.

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So now you guys are all caught up with what's been going on in my life. Hope I didn't bore you too much!

It's the "End of the World" As We Know It

Sorry fanatics. I don't believe that the world is ending.

I prefer to look at this from a geological viewpoint. The earth has gone through many, many changes and shifts in the past several million years. I prefer to think that this is what that is. If you don't like that, I don't care.

But how do you explain all of the evil people? Simple. People are assholes. Since the dawn of man people have been doing bad things and screwing people over, etc. Now with there being so many people on earth and so much technology, it's just easier for people to be assholes now than it used to be.

Disease and famine could be helped (maybe not cured, but helped at least) if world leaders were less worried about starting wars with each other and making nuclear weapons, and more worried about health and the distribution of resources.

I'm not saying that I don't believe in the Bible or Jesus. I'm just saying that I think some of this stuff can be explained scientifically. Also, by saying that "everything is as the Bible foretold..." Yeah, you might as well be saying "I told you so!" That's how annoying that is.

Besides, if you believe every single word of the Bible, then I expect you to be a firm believer in Christ. Which means that if the world is in fact ending, you're gonna go to Heaven anyways. And Heaven is supposed to be awesome, right? So really, what are you worried about here? Your car? Your house? Kind of worldly, no? So if you really think the world is ending because the Bible said so, chill out. You'll be fine.

Devil Pills

Premarin was invented by Satan. Not Santa, SATAN. Had to have been. It's seriously the worst thing I've taken so far.

I had another sleepless night last night. I took half of a 5mg melatonin and got in bed last night at 10:30. I laid there forever. Finally at 2 when I was waking Keith up for work, I took a WHOLE 5mg melatonin. Laid there forever again. I started crying out of frustration. Around 6 I took another half of a 5mg melatonin. Cried some more. Decided that I would text my boss since I figured he was still asleep, plus I was just crying and crying. So I sent him a text that I didn't think I was gonna be able to come in today. I'm so glad I did that. I don't think I would've made it through the entire work day.

Finally close to 7:30 I was all cried out so I fell asleep. Woke up around 10 because they were mowing the grass right outside my apartment. Fell back asleep around 10:45. Slept till 1. Keith got home at 1:30, which is really early for a Friday. It was nice to have him around though, especially since I still felt so crappy. You know how after you don't sleep well or you cry a lot (or both), your eyes have that weird itcy burny feeling? I felt like that most of the day, plus just plain worn out. I took a nap around 4 since Keith wanted to play video games and I wasn't in the mood to watch him. Slept for about an hour or so. I felt so much better afterwards! Like a new woman! Ok, not exactly, but much much better.

And I got to have a sandwich from Subway for dinner! Hoorayyyy!

My diet and exercise plan is going very well. I'm only a few pounds away from my goal. My only problem is that I'm not sure how I will change things up once I get to that point. I don't want to keep losing past my goal, but I really don't know how to do things differently so that I can just maintain my weight. Any suggestions?

Anyways, I'm super ready to stop taking Premarin. I'll be done with it on the evening of the 21st. The Provera for 5 days. So I'm expecting my period sometime around the first of April! Wish me luck!

Great Stay-cation!

So as some of you may know, I had a couple days off work this week because my good friend Kaylie came to visit. Two amazing work free days! I slept in, we bummed around the house and watched a couple movies, and we even made breakfast together today while Keith was at a meeting. It's awesome to wake up to your house guest cooking you breakfast in the morning. All in all, great couple of days. I'm always sad to see friends go.

Guys. This Premarin is NOT my friend. It's caused diarrhea, nausea, shortness of breath, borderline migraine headaches. The best part? I still have two weeks of this left. Every time I start to think that I'm getting used to it and the worst is over, I get a horrible new side effect. Nausea seems to be the one that hangs around the most. In fact, I'm doing everything I can not to puke right now. I keep reminding myself that this is all just a means to an end. It's helping us get to our ultimate goal. I know that pregnancy will probably be just as bad as far as nausea goes, but I'd throw up everyday with a smile on my face if we ever get to that point. But for now? For now I'll bitch about all of the meds I have to endure.

Also, PCOS blows. I've come to the conclusion that I should just avoid carbs all together. We went out to Casa Ole on Monday and I ate the regular amount of food and chips. Gained two pounds. From one effing day of not monitoring my foods and working out. So this week I'm trying to work hard and be extra good when it comes to carbs so that maybe I'll drop those two pounds.

Anyways, I'm off for now. Bedtime.

Stuck!

Well here I am. Stuck writing this post on my phone because I can't get my computer to stop being a dick. Don't you hate when that happens?

Anyways, I'm a liar, apparently. I said I was gonna do better with this and then I skipped two days. Bad Kris! I had good reason though. Friday I felt like death. A continuation of whatever was making me feel bad on Thursday, I'm sure. So I came home and slept. And yesterday we had a date night to celebrate my weight loss! I started out at 144ish. Lost some on my own. Then I started with My Fitness Pal at 141ish and have lost nearly 7 more pounds since. So almost 10 down! Awesome, right? Yeah, I know.

When I started with BlogHer Ads, I filled out a 1099 tax form. That was in November. Since then I have only earned $27. How does this apply to this year's tax return, if at all? (I know, I'm slow.)

Guys, I'm so excited because when I get off work tomorrow, Kaylie will be here! And I don't have to work again until Thursday! Hipsters!!! (That was supposed to be yipeeeee, but my phone decided otherwise.) Oh, and last night, this guy liked my singing at karaoke so much that he paid our entire tab! I know it had to be at LEAST $50. My drinks are not cheap. I blame living in a small town for the price of alcohol. Also, my apartment is awesomely clean. So lots of things to be excited about.

The Premarin has been treating me better the last couple of days. Not much to really report with that. I'm somewhat worried about my dosage though. 2 pills (1.25 each) a day for 21 days. Does that sound safe to you? I need informed opinions, please. Anyhow, I wish I could say that the days are flying by, but today was only the 6th day. Still quite a few to go.

Well guys, I gotta go fold clothes. Hopefully by tomorrow I can find my W2 (it's in my stack of mail, hiding), figure out the 1099 stuff, and get my computer to cooperate so I can finally file my taxes. I'll try to catch all you cool cats on the flip side.

So Sorry.

I've been the worst blogger ever lately. I know I keep saying that, but it's true. I've been super busy trying to do stuff for the route, my job, my housework, errands, and working out that I haven't felt like I have time to do anything else. It's so tiring to be so busy all the time. I'm really going to try and make an effort to be better at this in the coming weeks/months/whatever. My weekly page views have really suffered. Sorry to all of you loyal readers. I'm sure you're missing me. Or not. Who knows?

Anyways, in case you didn't already know, Provera didn't do jack squat for me. I waited 13 days and never got a period. At all. So I made an appointment with my doctor, where I waited a ridiculous amount of time to talk with him for maybe 15 minutes, and he prescribed Premarin 1.25, two pills a day for the next 21 days. Technically today is the third day, so do the math. Premarin is a conjugated estrogen (which means it has more than one type of estrogen) made from pregnant mare urine. I know that seems really gross. I just try not to think of it, and I prefer to think that my particular batch came from a very humane equestrian center. Anyways, the hope is that the Premarin will boost my estrogen levels and build up my uterine lining. I'm guessing my estrogen is just low. It's been low in the past. This is why I really wanted him to order blood work when I went in a few weeks ago. I don't like guessing games, especially with something as important as my reproductive health.

So, after 21 days, the hope is that my lining will be nice and thick and spongy. Then I'll take Provera again for five days, and once I stop that, hopefully I'll actually have a period. And then maybe I will finally be able to take the freaking Clomid. If I don't have a period after all of this, then we have to do blood work to check my hormones, thyroid, and I think he said something else, but I don't remember what.

All I have to say is that I better have a freaking period. Today is the third day and because of the Premarin, I've basically crapped out the entire contents of my stomach. And as if that isn't enough, I feel like it's gonna come up the other way pretty soon. No, I don't think I have a stomach virus. These are all listed as side effects. How fun. (Hint: sarcasm.) Needless to say, working out was cancelled for the night.

On the bright side, since starting with My Fitness Pal, I've lost a total of 6 pounds, according to my home scale. At first I was unhappy with the program because I didn't feel like I was getting any results. But I figured out that calorie counting and exercise alone aren't gonna do it for me. I either need to go with low GI or low carb as well, thanks to PCOS. It's a long story as to why those seem to be the best diets for PCOS sufferers, but it all has to do with hormones and insulin. I'm just one big bag of awesome health, huh? Anyhow, started with the low carb/low cal/exercise plan and I'm doing well with it so far. Best part? It's free. Giggidy!

Well, I'm off for the night. I promise to try and be better. Later Gators!