Today I'm half way through my second week of birth control pills (bcp). Today I had a bit of spotting! Most would say "Oh, mid-cycle bleeding, that sucks!" But I'm saying "Holy crap I didn't know my body could still do that!" So this is me being hopeful that bcp will actually make it possible for me to have periods again. At least for three months, anyways.
And GUESS WHAT ELSE! Keith finally agreed to get a semen analysis! We made a deal. If the bcp helps and I don't need surgery in the next 3 or 4 months, then Keith will go for the SA before January 1st. I told him if I DO need surgery, we can wait a little while because we'll need to save money anyways. Honestly, I'd prefer he do it now, or at least ASAP so that we can get "fixed" and both be ready at the same time. But this is an agreement that he can live with. It gives him enough time to mentally prepare himself, and plenty of time to get a good multivitamin in his system and hopefully cut back on smoking. I'm feeling very optimistic about the bcp working for me and not needing surgery. Let's hope it works out so that Keith can get this done that much sooner. I've only been reminding him every few months that we need it to be done!
It feels so good to have a concrete plan established, finally. Mostly we've just been winging it. Making decisions and doing things as we go along. I like knowing what's next.
In other news, yesterday was my birthday. Another year older. I spent the day relaxing at home and enjoyed it very much. This weekend we'll be in Anahuac grilling burgers with family to do a bit of celebrating. Should be fun. I did go ahead and invite my sister and the kids. I really hope they decide to come out.
I'm going to be trying out new diets in the coming weeks. The first thing I'll try is dairy free. After that I may go gluten free. The reason being that after almost every meal I get all bloated. So bloated that it's like a small baby bump. It's very uncomfortable. Maybe changing things up a bit will help. Maybe it will also help my skin stop being so freaking itchy all the time. I'll let you all know.
Anyways, that's it for now. Until next time, friends!
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
I Should Blog More
I really should. I know I said I would. I've made myself into a liar. Shame on me.
Anyways, I'm on day 4 of birth control pills. Ovcon 35. Well, a generic version. Zenchent. It's going ok so far. I'm slightly more irritable, but nothing I can't handle. Between the bcp and Prozac, I'm going back and forth between being super hungry and being not hungry at all. More often than not I'm less hungry, at least at this point. Still having what I think is the Prozac induced diarrhea. Isn't that lovely? No. No it isn't. I almost crapped my pants at the warehouse the other morning, and since we're out of toilet paper there, I had to wipe with McDonald's napkins!
As a result of all of the Number Two-ing and decreased appetite, I'm losing a bit of weight. I'm still trying to eat pretty regularly, but it comes out as fast as it goes in. My home scale says 131. My doc's scale says 138. The doc's scale is probably more reliable, but I'd rather believe my home scale.
I watched Hoarders for the first time today, starting with the very first episode. I have come to the realization that my parents were hoarders. And my grandma. And my sister. I wish I had a picture of what the inside of my house used to look like. Dirty laundry and just plain junk covered our floors. The sink stayed full of dirty dishes. My parents almost never threw anything away. Not trash, but junk. Junk that they never used or even looked at. Every surface, every nook, every cranny, and every place that wasn't even made to hold junk, had junk in, on, or around it. Same with my sister. She's still like that too. I have some shoes and clothes I never wear, and some other useless junk, but nowhere near hoarding levels. Watching the show definitely inspired me to start going through some things and getting rid of them one way or another. Especially because our lease is up September 30, and I'm hoping to move. I don't want to pack and move useless things. Plus now I'm paranoid.
I meant to ask if anyone has had any luck shrinking a cyst using birth control pills. A couple of people have told me that theirs shrunk in about a month. Any stories or advice anyone can give? I'm even interested in those that didn't have luck with that method.
Anyways, I guess that's all for today. Hope you have all been doing well!
Anyways, I'm on day 4 of birth control pills. Ovcon 35. Well, a generic version. Zenchent. It's going ok so far. I'm slightly more irritable, but nothing I can't handle. Between the bcp and Prozac, I'm going back and forth between being super hungry and being not hungry at all. More often than not I'm less hungry, at least at this point. Still having what I think is the Prozac induced diarrhea. Isn't that lovely? No. No it isn't. I almost crapped my pants at the warehouse the other morning, and since we're out of toilet paper there, I had to wipe with McDonald's napkins!
As a result of all of the Number Two-ing and decreased appetite, I'm losing a bit of weight. I'm still trying to eat pretty regularly, but it comes out as fast as it goes in. My home scale says 131. My doc's scale says 138. The doc's scale is probably more reliable, but I'd rather believe my home scale.
I watched Hoarders for the first time today, starting with the very first episode. I have come to the realization that my parents were hoarders. And my grandma. And my sister. I wish I had a picture of what the inside of my house used to look like. Dirty laundry and just plain junk covered our floors. The sink stayed full of dirty dishes. My parents almost never threw anything away. Not trash, but junk. Junk that they never used or even looked at. Every surface, every nook, every cranny, and every place that wasn't even made to hold junk, had junk in, on, or around it. Same with my sister. She's still like that too. I have some shoes and clothes I never wear, and some other useless junk, but nowhere near hoarding levels. Watching the show definitely inspired me to start going through some things and getting rid of them one way or another. Especially because our lease is up September 30, and I'm hoping to move. I don't want to pack and move useless things. Plus now I'm paranoid.
I meant to ask if anyone has had any luck shrinking a cyst using birth control pills. A couple of people have told me that theirs shrunk in about a month. Any stories or advice anyone can give? I'm even interested in those that didn't have luck with that method.
Anyways, I guess that's all for today. Hope you have all been doing well!
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
Another Infertility Adventure!
Had my ultrasound today. Lining is measuring 4.5, which seems weird to me since it's been about 9 months since I've had a period, and for one of those months I was on Premarin to purposely thicken it. But what do I know?
Also found out the cause of the excruciating pain every time I cough or sneeze or just generally move weird. My left ovary has a big ol' cyst. Lefty is measuring double the normal size. I got to see it on the screen. It looked pretty freaky. Like a big blob that contained other smaller blobs, but then there was a HUGE blob inside the main one.
My doctor says that it's hard to tell whether it's a functioning cyst that's just stupidly big and fucking up my cycles, or if it's caused by endometriosis and is fucking up my cycles. So we're going with birth control pills for the next three months to see if it helps shrink it. If not, then we get to do a laparoscopy! FUN! I guess they would drain they cyst either way? But he said if it's endo then they will laser some things too. EVEN MORE FUN!
My grandma asked if we would be seeing the pictures on YouTube. I said probably not. She was sad, but perked up when I told her my ovary looked freaky. We also talked about her having to go through chemo to make sure there are no cells left where the doc had to scrape her ribs when they got rid of her cancerous lung tumor. I told her I heard chemo sucks balls. She has heard similar things. I love my grandma.
Anyways, the doc said that since my prolactin isn't sky high or anything, the BCP might also help suppress it. That means he may not have to prescribe me anything for it. If it's still elevated though, I'll probably end up taking Parlodel (bromocriptine), but only half a tablet before bed. Not that I know what a full dose amounts to, but whatever.
So there ya have it. We have a game plan. Let's hope it doesn't come to getting a lap. That's money that we don't have. Glad to have some answers though.
Also found out the cause of the excruciating pain every time I cough or sneeze or just generally move weird. My left ovary has a big ol' cyst. Lefty is measuring double the normal size. I got to see it on the screen. It looked pretty freaky. Like a big blob that contained other smaller blobs, but then there was a HUGE blob inside the main one.
My doctor says that it's hard to tell whether it's a functioning cyst that's just stupidly big and fucking up my cycles, or if it's caused by endometriosis and is fucking up my cycles. So we're going with birth control pills for the next three months to see if it helps shrink it. If not, then we get to do a laparoscopy! FUN! I guess they would drain they cyst either way? But he said if it's endo then they will laser some things too. EVEN MORE FUN!
My grandma asked if we would be seeing the pictures on YouTube. I said probably not. She was sad, but perked up when I told her my ovary looked freaky. We also talked about her having to go through chemo to make sure there are no cells left where the doc had to scrape her ribs when they got rid of her cancerous lung tumor. I told her I heard chemo sucks balls. She has heard similar things. I love my grandma.
Anyways, the doc said that since my prolactin isn't sky high or anything, the BCP might also help suppress it. That means he may not have to prescribe me anything for it. If it's still elevated though, I'll probably end up taking Parlodel (bromocriptine), but only half a tablet before bed. Not that I know what a full dose amounts to, but whatever.
So there ya have it. We have a game plan. Let's hope it doesn't come to getting a lap. That's money that we don't have. Glad to have some answers though.
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
All The Lovely Side Effects
I know I'm late on updating. Prozac is going well. My moods are much better now. Not wildly irrational and uncontrollable anymore, which is very good progress. I still have emotions, even sad ones. They're just easier to handle now, and the lows aren't quite as low. I'm very happy with this. Also I'm not so snappish and angry.
But the side effects. Oh, the side effects! I've had a few nights of insomnia, but I was already having that much more frequently before I started the meds, so I won't count that one. Mostly it just makes me sleepy at night, which is something I like. I get headaches, but I was already having those too. I think the most noticeable ones are decrease in sexual ability (yes, ability), decreased appetite, and I think all the diarrhea is also from the Prozac. I'm not really sure though because it only happens every few days and it always seems to be days I have cereal and milk for breakfast. Milk and I have never had the greatest relationship anyways, so who knows. If it persists, I will speak with my doctor.
As for the sexual ability, I've just noticed that I'm a lot less uhhh, sensitive...if you know what I mean. I knew that was a possibility but was hoping it wouldn't happen. A friend told me that after a few weeks that side effect wore off for her, so I'm hopeful. I have a lot of pain with intercourse, so I'd really like to keep the pleasure part to make up for it.
I have my ultrasound appointment tomorrow, and an appointment with my doctor directly following. Hoping he'll go over the ultrasound report right then and there. I'm still unsure as to whether he will prescribe a med for my high prolactin or not. Just ready for some concrete answers already.
Other aspects of my life are going ok. Deleted about 300 people from Facebook the other day. Very liberating. I had to though. For some reason, people just like being assholes and I'm tired of having to stick up for myself all the time. I don't agree with being passive when someone pushes me around, even online. Especially when they don't have full knowledge of the situation or decision they're unfairly criticizing. I've said it before and I'll say it again: at this point in my life I only have room for pleasant and supportive friends and family. I refuse to surround myself with those who just bring me down. I'm down enough on my own, I don't need help getting there.
Anyways, I've basically just been busy being an adult. Doing laundry and paying bills and working 35 or so hours a week and other responsible adultish things. Same as always. Only difference is that I don't mind being alive so much anymore, and that's good. Being alive is a good thing.
But the side effects. Oh, the side effects! I've had a few nights of insomnia, but I was already having that much more frequently before I started the meds, so I won't count that one. Mostly it just makes me sleepy at night, which is something I like. I get headaches, but I was already having those too. I think the most noticeable ones are decrease in sexual ability (yes, ability), decreased appetite, and I think all the diarrhea is also from the Prozac. I'm not really sure though because it only happens every few days and it always seems to be days I have cereal and milk for breakfast. Milk and I have never had the greatest relationship anyways, so who knows. If it persists, I will speak with my doctor.
As for the sexual ability, I've just noticed that I'm a lot less uhhh, sensitive...if you know what I mean. I knew that was a possibility but was hoping it wouldn't happen. A friend told me that after a few weeks that side effect wore off for her, so I'm hopeful. I have a lot of pain with intercourse, so I'd really like to keep the pleasure part to make up for it.
I have my ultrasound appointment tomorrow, and an appointment with my doctor directly following. Hoping he'll go over the ultrasound report right then and there. I'm still unsure as to whether he will prescribe a med for my high prolactin or not. Just ready for some concrete answers already.
Other aspects of my life are going ok. Deleted about 300 people from Facebook the other day. Very liberating. I had to though. For some reason, people just like being assholes and I'm tired of having to stick up for myself all the time. I don't agree with being passive when someone pushes me around, even online. Especially when they don't have full knowledge of the situation or decision they're unfairly criticizing. I've said it before and I'll say it again: at this point in my life I only have room for pleasant and supportive friends and family. I refuse to surround myself with those who just bring me down. I'm down enough on my own, I don't need help getting there.
Anyways, I've basically just been busy being an adult. Doing laundry and paying bills and working 35 or so hours a week and other responsible adultish things. Same as always. Only difference is that I don't mind being alive so much anymore, and that's good. Being alive is a good thing.
Thursday, July 7, 2011
Not Great
Today wasn't the best day for me, emotionally. I started out feeling tired and kinda like crap. Definitely improved as the day went on, but then Keith started getting grouchy, which made me get grouchy. It doesn't help that we work outdoors a good part of the day in the billion degree Texas heat. I was really hoping I'd feel better once I got home and took a nap, but turns out not really.
I woke up in kind of a weird mood. Then something triggered my depressive feelings (which I'll talk about later) and I've felt like shit since then. It's a strange feeling. It's a combination of sadness, stress, and anxiety. Physically it feels like there is a weight on my chest. It makes it difficult to breathe and gets me nauseous and tense all over. It's very hard to talk myself out of it when I feel this way.
I didn't expect everything to be all unicorns and butterflies from the get go, but we've had so many good days since I started Prozac. Having a bad day just like I used to have every day has really thrown me off. I'm hoping so hard that tomorrow is better. How did I do this every single day, day after day?
Got my results back from prolactin labs. It's elevated again. The first draw was elevated, second in normal range, and this time it was elevated again. My nurse told me to be sure and keep my appointment for next Wednesday because the doctor will likely want to put me on medication to help control the levels. I don't know a lot about prolactin, except that it's the hormone that triggers lactation in women. Since I'm not pregnant or breastfeeding, it doesn't necessarily mean that I will lactate. I haven't thus far, and highly doubt I will. That would be weird. Elevated prolactin levels can cause irregular or absent periods, which I'm definitely having. I also know that PCOS can cause prolactin to be a little elevated. That's probably what's causing it with me. I feel like this is just a small piece of this puzzle. Hopefully the ultrasound next week will give us a few more answers.
Anyways, my sister's friend posted pictures of them on Facebook at a Fourth of July parade. That's what triggered me. Kerri and the kids looked so happy and cute. Part of me is really glad to see that, especially for the kids. But there is another part of me that is still hurt and mad. That part of me wants to know why she hasn't tried to call me. That part wonders if she feels bad or if she misses me at all, or if the kids miss us. The good part of me is glad to see that they look like a family again. The bad part is still mad that she went back to him. That part doesn't feel like he deserves them after what he did. But most of all, even though I'm still having a lot of negative feelings about the situation, most of me just misses having a sister, nephew, and niece.
I woke up in kind of a weird mood. Then something triggered my depressive feelings (which I'll talk about later) and I've felt like shit since then. It's a strange feeling. It's a combination of sadness, stress, and anxiety. Physically it feels like there is a weight on my chest. It makes it difficult to breathe and gets me nauseous and tense all over. It's very hard to talk myself out of it when I feel this way.
I didn't expect everything to be all unicorns and butterflies from the get go, but we've had so many good days since I started Prozac. Having a bad day just like I used to have every day has really thrown me off. I'm hoping so hard that tomorrow is better. How did I do this every single day, day after day?
Got my results back from prolactin labs. It's elevated again. The first draw was elevated, second in normal range, and this time it was elevated again. My nurse told me to be sure and keep my appointment for next Wednesday because the doctor will likely want to put me on medication to help control the levels. I don't know a lot about prolactin, except that it's the hormone that triggers lactation in women. Since I'm not pregnant or breastfeeding, it doesn't necessarily mean that I will lactate. I haven't thus far, and highly doubt I will. That would be weird. Elevated prolactin levels can cause irregular or absent periods, which I'm definitely having. I also know that PCOS can cause prolactin to be a little elevated. That's probably what's causing it with me. I feel like this is just a small piece of this puzzle. Hopefully the ultrasound next week will give us a few more answers.
Anyways, my sister's friend posted pictures of them on Facebook at a Fourth of July parade. That's what triggered me. Kerri and the kids looked so happy and cute. Part of me is really glad to see that, especially for the kids. But there is another part of me that is still hurt and mad. That part of me wants to know why she hasn't tried to call me. That part wonders if she feels bad or if she misses me at all, or if the kids miss us. The good part of me is glad to see that they look like a family again. The bad part is still mad that she went back to him. That part doesn't feel like he deserves them after what he did. But most of all, even though I'm still having a lot of negative feelings about the situation, most of me just misses having a sister, nephew, and niece.
Sunday, July 3, 2011
Week One Update
I finished my first week of Prozac. I feel a lot better already. I get dry mouth and headaches from it, and it also makes me sleepy after I take it, but it's been worth it so far. I've had some really good days this past week! Even Keith has noticed a difference. I'm really looking forward to the next few weeks and seeing how much of a difference has been made.
I've been doing a ton of coughing. I'm so congested. The good thing is that it's breaking loose in there. Kinda nasty, but it's better than my chest rattling every time I breathe in and out.
I'm going to have my prolactin tested (again) on Wednesday, and I have an ultrasound next Wednesday. I was supposed to have both done a few weeks back, but it was right at the time my sister came to stay with us, so it got put on hold. I'm anxious to get these things done. Mostly the ultrasound. Very important that we take a look at what's going on in there. If the ultrasound doesn't show anything, I'm not sure where we'll go from there. HSG, maybe. I'm just hoping that whatever is wrong isn't something too bad. I still really want to be able to have a baby. ASAP, of course. But it seems like every time we address one issue another one pops up. What's with that?
My birthday is this month! Somewhat excited about that. Not sure what we'll do, if anything. I know we're going to see Harry Potter, but that's something we would've done anyways. I thought about getting my tattoo, but that would probably be expensive. Camping would be really hot. So I really have no idea. I'm sure whatever we decide to do will end up being fun.
Our weekend in Anahuac was pretty good. Hung out with Keith's mom's side of the family. Got along great with everybody. My mind was put at ease about some legal issues I've been a little worried about, so that's good. Let's just say that having connections at the police department is great. On our way back we stopped in Beaumont to do a bit of grocery shopping. Bought our favorite sweetener (Ideal) and some buckwheat noodles and pancake mix, plus a few other things we were interested in trying.
So that's about it. Nothing too big going on, just wanted to give a little update. Everyone have a great, fun, safe weekend!
I've been doing a ton of coughing. I'm so congested. The good thing is that it's breaking loose in there. Kinda nasty, but it's better than my chest rattling every time I breathe in and out.
I'm going to have my prolactin tested (again) on Wednesday, and I have an ultrasound next Wednesday. I was supposed to have both done a few weeks back, but it was right at the time my sister came to stay with us, so it got put on hold. I'm anxious to get these things done. Mostly the ultrasound. Very important that we take a look at what's going on in there. If the ultrasound doesn't show anything, I'm not sure where we'll go from there. HSG, maybe. I'm just hoping that whatever is wrong isn't something too bad. I still really want to be able to have a baby. ASAP, of course. But it seems like every time we address one issue another one pops up. What's with that?
My birthday is this month! Somewhat excited about that. Not sure what we'll do, if anything. I know we're going to see Harry Potter, but that's something we would've done anyways. I thought about getting my tattoo, but that would probably be expensive. Camping would be really hot. So I really have no idea. I'm sure whatever we decide to do will end up being fun.
Our weekend in Anahuac was pretty good. Hung out with Keith's mom's side of the family. Got along great with everybody. My mind was put at ease about some legal issues I've been a little worried about, so that's good. Let's just say that having connections at the police department is great. On our way back we stopped in Beaumont to do a bit of grocery shopping. Bought our favorite sweetener (Ideal) and some buckwheat noodles and pancake mix, plus a few other things we were interested in trying.
So that's about it. Nothing too big going on, just wanted to give a little update. Everyone have a great, fun, safe weekend!
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