I don't know what to say. Actually, I have a lot to say but I know if I try to say it in person you won't listen. I'm just gonna start with this:
If you don't have a problem hanging out with the guy who beat you up, then WE have a problem.
I don't care how nice he's being now. He's beat up on you before, and he always treats you really good for a while afterwards, but what makes you think he won't do it again? He will, because no matter how much he says he'll change, he never does.
This isn't the life anyone wants for you, and it shouldn't be the life you want for yourself. Didn't you ever listen to mom talk about her time with our bio-dad and think to yourself "That will never be me"? Well right now it IS you. The only difference is that you have us here to help you get away from this situation. I know it's hard to adjust to living with us, but I'd hate for you to go back to that just because it's familiar or easier than getting used to us.
I know he wants a relationship with the kids. That's fine. But it doesn't mean he needs to have one with you. He's calling and texting all the time asking what you're doing and whether you realize it or not, it's a way to keep you tied to him. It's a way for him to control you.
I know you think you've got this under control, but I can see you softening to him. I can see you getting excited to see him again. Why? HE BEAT YOU. He punched you in the face and anywhere else he could reach. He beat you in front of your kids and made you fall on top of your son. You shouldn't want to see him or talk to him. You should be angry. You should want space. You should want to protect your kids and keep them away from that kind of life. But you don't seem to be feeling any of those things and I don't understand why.
Think of the example you are setting for your kids. Kids that grow up in abusive homes often grow up to either be abusers or allow themselves to be abused. Is that the kind of life you want for you son and daughter?
I thought you were smarter than this. It doesn't make you seem tough to stay with him. It makes you seem sad and brainwashed. It makes you seem like one of those sobbing abused wives on tv that gets beat but can't leave because in their minds they think they need to be with the men who hurt them. They don't see that what is going on is bad or that it will continue to happen.
Abusers don't change. They will always be abusive. The only thing that can change is you. You're lucky because we're giving you that opportunity. We love you and the kids so much that we are willing to sacrifice our financial stability, which we work very hard for, to ensure that y'all will have a better life.
Please don't be too mad at me after reading this. Know that I'm coming from a good place here. I don't want to hurt your feelings or make you feel guilty, or god forbid, alienate you and the kids from me. I just want to help you because I want you to be safe and happy.
I love you, I love your son, I love your daughter. Almost more than any other people on the planet. I hope you know that.
Monday, May 30, 2011
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
So Much Has Happened
A lot has been going on. Saturday we headed out to Houston to ice skate at the Galleria for Keith and Kerri's birthdays. (His was the 17th, hers was the 20th.) Not even an hour away from home and I hit a giant dog. I felt really terrible about it. The dog was so big that it messed up my bumper and lights. The bumper was scraping on the tire really badly. We redneck fixed it by attaching a big chain to the bumper, the other end to a tree, and backing up really fast a few times. It's only a temporary fix.
Anyways, we ice skated. It was fun kind of. The rental skates really hurt my feet, but Keith and Kerri had a great time, and that's what counts. Then we had the great idea to eat at the Rainforest Cafe. Worst place ever. Too busy, bad service, and mediocre food that cost way more than it was worth. But at least the birthday peeps got free sundaes.
We dropped Kerri off and went back to the MIL's house. Around 12:30 that night, my phone is ringing. I pick up and it's Kerri. Her boyfriend beat her up kinda bad. We picked her and the kids up and pretty much they live with us now. We only have a one bedroom apartment, but she has nowhere else to go. Besides, I wouldn't want her to go anywhere else. Anyways, our lease is up September 30th, but we may be moving before then anyways.
She has already begun the process of getting WIC, Medicaid, and even though we're not sure she will qualify for any food stamp assistance, she applied for it anyways. Every little bit will help us. We grew to a family of five over night and it's a bit overwhelming for Keith and me. Even though we brought all of their things with us, there is still a lot that they need, but don't have, and didn't have to begin with. In case anyone would like to help out, I've put together an Amazon wish list of things we need.
http://amzn.com/w/2UGZ8UBG158GY
Not on the list are some baby proofing things (things to keep cupboards from opening mostly), a couple of blankets, some small toys, and baby girl clothes 6-9mo. These things are not absolutely essential, and hand me downs would be extremely welcome. If you would like to send anything, I can email you my address. Thanks in advance, and thank you to everyone who has already helped in so many ways!
Anyways, I'm off for now since dinner is ready.
Anyways, we ice skated. It was fun kind of. The rental skates really hurt my feet, but Keith and Kerri had a great time, and that's what counts. Then we had the great idea to eat at the Rainforest Cafe. Worst place ever. Too busy, bad service, and mediocre food that cost way more than it was worth. But at least the birthday peeps got free sundaes.
We dropped Kerri off and went back to the MIL's house. Around 12:30 that night, my phone is ringing. I pick up and it's Kerri. Her boyfriend beat her up kinda bad. We picked her and the kids up and pretty much they live with us now. We only have a one bedroom apartment, but she has nowhere else to go. Besides, I wouldn't want her to go anywhere else. Anyways, our lease is up September 30th, but we may be moving before then anyways.
She has already begun the process of getting WIC, Medicaid, and even though we're not sure she will qualify for any food stamp assistance, she applied for it anyways. Every little bit will help us. We grew to a family of five over night and it's a bit overwhelming for Keith and me. Even though we brought all of their things with us, there is still a lot that they need, but don't have, and didn't have to begin with. In case anyone would like to help out, I've put together an Amazon wish list of things we need.
http://amzn.com/w/2UGZ8UBG158GY
Not on the list are some baby proofing things (things to keep cupboards from opening mostly), a couple of blankets, some small toys, and baby girl clothes 6-9mo. These things are not absolutely essential, and hand me downs would be extremely welcome. If you would like to send anything, I can email you my address. Thanks in advance, and thank you to everyone who has already helped in so many ways!
Anyways, I'm off for now since dinner is ready.
Sunday, May 15, 2011
Weekend Update
Too bad I'm nowhere near as funny as Tina Fey.
I'm SO tempted to go private for a while. I'm tired of having someone search my blog title and name almost every fucking day. It's creepy and stalkerish. Either own up to it or subscribe so I don't have to see your obsessive behaviors in my stats all the time. Weirdo. ****
We had a great weekend, in my opinion. Keith and I went to the rodeo last night to see Easton Corbin. We didn't stay the whole time though because it was crowded and these kids, who I'm assuming were seventh graders, kept putting their asses all over me and were just being obnoxious in general. So we cut out early and headed to karaoke. We had a great time there. The regular DJ is now doing karaoke at the other bar owned by the same people. It's stupid, especially because I know it wasn't her doing, but I feel kind of betrayed in a way. Like I said. Stupid. Honestly, I have not heard good things about that bar. Plus I don't want to pay for another membership that we will likely never use. The bar we go to now is familiar. Maybe we're a bit reclusive that way, but I don't want to have to get used to a new place and new faces all over again. Besides, I know the DJ that was there last night, and he seemed genuinely pleased that we came out last night. I like that.
Today we sat around doing nothing. Mostly, anyways. Just reading and playing video games. It was nice. Just a lazy Sunday. Tomorrow might be bad though. It will be, what.... Day 5 of Provera? So far my mood has been great. Way better than I ever expected it. But tomorrow is Monday, and that means getting up at 3am, putting up with somewhat annoying people, and working 12 or so hours. It might be all right, but just in case, everyone might want to stay out of my way.
Also, my skin has been much, much better as well. Maybe it's that I'm back with my tea tree soap. I've also started using a Burt's Bees spot treatment again. I used to use it all the time. I forgot how much I like it. And I can use it anywhere on my body. Also, I got a Neutrogena Wave that I use once a day. I cannot even tell you how much that is helping my face! Well, that and the other stuff combined. But that's usually what works for me. Weird combinations.
I have to go in sometime this week for prolactin blood draw. Don't know when though. I was planning for Tuesday, but that's Keith's birthday and he asked me to work with him so that we can be done early. So maybe Wednesday? Friday? I don't really know, especially since we're going to Anahuac Saturday to celebrate his and Kerri's (my sis) birthdays. Hers is Friday. They're ten years apart. He'll be 29, she'll be 19.
I've finished 29 books. Still 7 behind, but catching up quick! I have several lined up to read soon, so that helps. It's harder to be motivated when you don't know what you're reading next and have no desire to search. I think I've got like 8 ready to roll in my Kindle for iPhone app. Plus a few hiding in my archives that are non-fiction that I'm not ready to tackle just yet.
Anywho, this is getting a bit long winded, so I'll leave you here. See you all later!
****In the case that it's not all the same person doing the searching, I apologize.
I'm SO tempted to go private for a while. I'm tired of having someone search my blog title and name almost every fucking day. It's creepy and stalkerish. Either own up to it or subscribe so I don't have to see your obsessive behaviors in my stats all the time. Weirdo. ****
We had a great weekend, in my opinion. Keith and I went to the rodeo last night to see Easton Corbin. We didn't stay the whole time though because it was crowded and these kids, who I'm assuming were seventh graders, kept putting their asses all over me and were just being obnoxious in general. So we cut out early and headed to karaoke. We had a great time there. The regular DJ is now doing karaoke at the other bar owned by the same people. It's stupid, especially because I know it wasn't her doing, but I feel kind of betrayed in a way. Like I said. Stupid. Honestly, I have not heard good things about that bar. Plus I don't want to pay for another membership that we will likely never use. The bar we go to now is familiar. Maybe we're a bit reclusive that way, but I don't want to have to get used to a new place and new faces all over again. Besides, I know the DJ that was there last night, and he seemed genuinely pleased that we came out last night. I like that.
Today we sat around doing nothing. Mostly, anyways. Just reading and playing video games. It was nice. Just a lazy Sunday. Tomorrow might be bad though. It will be, what.... Day 5 of Provera? So far my mood has been great. Way better than I ever expected it. But tomorrow is Monday, and that means getting up at 3am, putting up with somewhat annoying people, and working 12 or so hours. It might be all right, but just in case, everyone might want to stay out of my way.
Also, my skin has been much, much better as well. Maybe it's that I'm back with my tea tree soap. I've also started using a Burt's Bees spot treatment again. I used to use it all the time. I forgot how much I like it. And I can use it anywhere on my body. Also, I got a Neutrogena Wave that I use once a day. I cannot even tell you how much that is helping my face! Well, that and the other stuff combined. But that's usually what works for me. Weird combinations.
I have to go in sometime this week for prolactin blood draw. Don't know when though. I was planning for Tuesday, but that's Keith's birthday and he asked me to work with him so that we can be done early. So maybe Wednesday? Friday? I don't really know, especially since we're going to Anahuac Saturday to celebrate his and Kerri's (my sis) birthdays. Hers is Friday. They're ten years apart. He'll be 29, she'll be 19.
I've finished 29 books. Still 7 behind, but catching up quick! I have several lined up to read soon, so that helps. It's harder to be motivated when you don't know what you're reading next and have no desire to search. I think I've got like 8 ready to roll in my Kindle for iPhone app. Plus a few hiding in my archives that are non-fiction that I'm not ready to tackle just yet.
Anywho, this is getting a bit long winded, so I'll leave you here. See you all later!
****In the case that it's not all the same person doing the searching, I apologize.
Friday, May 13, 2011
Results
Got my blood work results today. In case you forgot I had TSH, HgbA1C, and CMP done.
All came back absolutely normal.
I know that's a good thing. But in a way, I'm upset and frustrated about it. I was hoping that one of those tests would give us the magic answer. Not the answer to why we can't seem to make any babies. The answer to why my period is in hiding. How is it possible to go six months, even after 2 rounds of Provera, and not have a period?
This is one of the most frustrating things ever.
Next week I go back to have my prolactin tested, and the week after I go back for an ultrasound. I really have a bad feeling that even though I'm on a double dose of Provera this time, that nothing will happen. I'll be stuck being double the bitch with double the pimples. How fun. Really, this is getting to the point that it's unhealthy. The longest a woman should go with no period is three months. I'm double that right now. It's absolutely agonizing to wait and wait and wait.
I honestly don't know what else we can do about this.
All came back absolutely normal.
I know that's a good thing. But in a way, I'm upset and frustrated about it. I was hoping that one of those tests would give us the magic answer. Not the answer to why we can't seem to make any babies. The answer to why my period is in hiding. How is it possible to go six months, even after 2 rounds of Provera, and not have a period?
This is one of the most frustrating things ever.
Next week I go back to have my prolactin tested, and the week after I go back for an ultrasound. I really have a bad feeling that even though I'm on a double dose of Provera this time, that nothing will happen. I'll be stuck being double the bitch with double the pimples. How fun. Really, this is getting to the point that it's unhealthy. The longest a woman should go with no period is three months. I'm double that right now. It's absolutely agonizing to wait and wait and wait.
I honestly don't know what else we can do about this.
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
Doctor Visit
So I had my blood work and doc appointment today. Nothing new going on here. Still infertile.
The lady doing the blood work had to stick my twice. Once in each arm. I'm not afraid of needles or anything, but it still hurt a little. And now I'll have not one, but TWO lovely bruises! Hooray for looking like an addict!
Once I finished there I puttered around Beaumont. Stopped by Target, but decided I'd be spending enough elsewhere, so I didn't buy anything. Had lunch at Chick Fil A where I sat and filled out my paperwork for the doctor visit. Had time left over so I went by Starbucks since we don't have one in Jasper and I miss it. Tried a cake pop for the first time today and loved it! I'm gonna make some of my own soon. It'll be so fun!
Made my way to the doc's office. The lobby had a big saltwater aquarium full of some beautiful and awesome corals. Also, a clown fish. And whatever that kind of fish is that loves bubbles from Finding Nemo. MY BUBBLES!! As I waited, all fidgety and ADD from caffeine, I wondered what the fish were thinking about, and how boring it must be to swim in the same few square feet for the rest of forever. And I really wanted to see the clown fish swim through its anemone, but it didn't. Stupid fish.
ANYWAYS! I liked my new doctor. She's pretty nice and all. Didn't make me feel weird or anything, which is good. She says I need to go back for more bloods. Just prolactin this time. She also had me set up an appointment for an ultrasound. She prescribed me Provera again. This time a double dose though. I'll take one in the morning and one at night instead of just once daily. She says if she can't get me cycling by June, then I'll for sure have to see an RE because there is not really anything else an OB/gyn can do. I don't like the sound of that. Or, more accurately, I don't like the sound of the specialist bill. Guess I'll start saving up again! I know the first visit there is almost $400 if you're self pay. Ugh.
Oh, and we're just gonna keep an eye on the boobie lump for now. That's good because I'm sure we can't afford a mammogram or biopsy or anything.
The pelvic exam was really unpleasant. All that pushing on my uterus and ovaries was painful. My ovaries were sore for hours afterwards. They feel better now though. We'll be checking them out on the 25th, along with my lining. I'm really relieved that she said we could do it. I hate the idea of a super thick lining in there getting all hyperplasia-ed and cancery or anything. Also, now that I'm kinda working back at my old job, I need to figure out when I can go in and do my blood work. Which I will have to fast for. Again. And since it's prolactin, there is no boobie touching allowed. So I guess Keith will be fasting in a sense too. Ha! (Not that he eats from my boobs, because gross. I meant he will be "fasting" from touching them.)
Well, Keith says he needs to use my laptop to do his bread order, so I'll be going now.
The lady doing the blood work had to stick my twice. Once in each arm. I'm not afraid of needles or anything, but it still hurt a little. And now I'll have not one, but TWO lovely bruises! Hooray for looking like an addict!
Once I finished there I puttered around Beaumont. Stopped by Target, but decided I'd be spending enough elsewhere, so I didn't buy anything. Had lunch at Chick Fil A where I sat and filled out my paperwork for the doctor visit. Had time left over so I went by Starbucks since we don't have one in Jasper and I miss it. Tried a cake pop for the first time today and loved it! I'm gonna make some of my own soon. It'll be so fun!
Made my way to the doc's office. The lobby had a big saltwater aquarium full of some beautiful and awesome corals. Also, a clown fish. And whatever that kind of fish is that loves bubbles from Finding Nemo. MY BUBBLES!! As I waited, all fidgety and ADD from caffeine, I wondered what the fish were thinking about, and how boring it must be to swim in the same few square feet for the rest of forever. And I really wanted to see the clown fish swim through its anemone, but it didn't. Stupid fish.
ANYWAYS! I liked my new doctor. She's pretty nice and all. Didn't make me feel weird or anything, which is good. She says I need to go back for more bloods. Just prolactin this time. She also had me set up an appointment for an ultrasound. She prescribed me Provera again. This time a double dose though. I'll take one in the morning and one at night instead of just once daily. She says if she can't get me cycling by June, then I'll for sure have to see an RE because there is not really anything else an OB/gyn can do. I don't like the sound of that. Or, more accurately, I don't like the sound of the specialist bill. Guess I'll start saving up again! I know the first visit there is almost $400 if you're self pay. Ugh.
Oh, and we're just gonna keep an eye on the boobie lump for now. That's good because I'm sure we can't afford a mammogram or biopsy or anything.
The pelvic exam was really unpleasant. All that pushing on my uterus and ovaries was painful. My ovaries were sore for hours afterwards. They feel better now though. We'll be checking them out on the 25th, along with my lining. I'm really relieved that she said we could do it. I hate the idea of a super thick lining in there getting all hyperplasia-ed and cancery or anything. Also, now that I'm kinda working back at my old job, I need to figure out when I can go in and do my blood work. Which I will have to fast for. Again. And since it's prolactin, there is no boobie touching allowed. So I guess Keith will be fasting in a sense too. Ha! (Not that he eats from my boobs, because gross. I meant he will be "fasting" from touching them.)
Well, Keith says he needs to use my laptop to do his bread order, so I'll be going now.
Sunday, May 8, 2011
Since I'm Here...
I wasn't going to blog today, but since I'm here lurking around the site, I guess I will.
No big news today.
It wasn't quite as hard as I thought it would be. Yes, last night was very tearful, and I did make Keith get up off the couch and come cuddle me in bed at two something in the morning. But I think I got a lot of it out of my system last night/this morning. My sister called today and didn't seem totally devastated about us not coming, although she was sad. It may be a good thing that we didn't go out there because she's super sick, and I catch other people's cooties like nobody's business.
I lost a blog follower today. Wonder why? Maybe they didn't like me...? Maybe they can suck my big toe.
If you look to the left side of the page, you'll see that I've added my Goodreads widget. I officially entered a 100 book challenge for the year. Late, I know, but I didn't know how to do it before. Yes, I'm that big of a dummy. Anyways, apparently the pace I had set for myself was a bit fast, because I think I'm about 11 or 12 books behind, while Goodreads says I'm only 9 behind of where I should be right now. I guess that's not so bad, considering I read a total of 3 full books yesterday, 1 full book today, and I've started on another. At this rate I'll hopefully catch up soon.
My boss asked me what days I can work next week. I had a feeling he would. So it's very possible that for a few days I'll be back at my old job. It's a slight inconvenience. Mainly because it's nosing in on my lazy time. I don't mind it though. At least I know I can get some decent reading done on those days. Plus I'll get to see Rhonda and Kellie. Hooray!
Our lease here is up September 30th. I'm hoping that if we don't have a new route in a different location by then that we can at least find a new place to live here. House or apartment, I don't really care. As long as it has at least two bedrooms and allows pets. If I can't have a baby right now, I might as well get a dog. Am I right, or am I right? I realize it's not the same thing, but I think that at least having something besides Keith and the turtle to love and take care of and snuggle (I don't snuggle with the turtle. He bites.), then it will at least take the edge off.
I got the nicest Mother's Day message from my Aunt Denise today. It surprised me that she seemed to know exactly the right things to say. Here's what she said:
Anyways, I guess I better go round up some dinner for Keith. Don't want him wasting away to nothing... (Imagine me here with a smirk and well timed eye roll.)
ALSO: Whoever is google searching my blog, my stats show what search led you here. Bookmark my site. It helps. Oh, and you're spelling my last name wrong. It's Mathews, with one T. I am flattered, though.
No big news today.
It wasn't quite as hard as I thought it would be. Yes, last night was very tearful, and I did make Keith get up off the couch and come cuddle me in bed at two something in the morning. But I think I got a lot of it out of my system last night/this morning. My sister called today and didn't seem totally devastated about us not coming, although she was sad. It may be a good thing that we didn't go out there because she's super sick, and I catch other people's cooties like nobody's business.
I lost a blog follower today. Wonder why? Maybe they didn't like me...? Maybe they can suck my big toe.
If you look to the left side of the page, you'll see that I've added my Goodreads widget. I officially entered a 100 book challenge for the year. Late, I know, but I didn't know how to do it before. Yes, I'm that big of a dummy. Anyways, apparently the pace I had set for myself was a bit fast, because I think I'm about 11 or 12 books behind, while Goodreads says I'm only 9 behind of where I should be right now. I guess that's not so bad, considering I read a total of 3 full books yesterday, 1 full book today, and I've started on another. At this rate I'll hopefully catch up soon.
My boss asked me what days I can work next week. I had a feeling he would. So it's very possible that for a few days I'll be back at my old job. It's a slight inconvenience. Mainly because it's nosing in on my lazy time. I don't mind it though. At least I know I can get some decent reading done on those days. Plus I'll get to see Rhonda and Kellie. Hooray!
Our lease here is up September 30th. I'm hoping that if we don't have a new route in a different location by then that we can at least find a new place to live here. House or apartment, I don't really care. As long as it has at least two bedrooms and allows pets. If I can't have a baby right now, I might as well get a dog. Am I right, or am I right? I realize it's not the same thing, but I think that at least having something besides Keith and the turtle to love and take care of and snuggle (I don't snuggle with the turtle. He bites.), then it will at least take the edge off.
I got the nicest Mother's Day message from my Aunt Denise today. It surprised me that she seemed to know exactly the right things to say. Here's what she said:
- Hey girl wanted to wish you a happy mothers day for all the wonderful things you have done. Like you took care of your mom when she was sick like a mother would do for her child, taken care of your sister and her kids, even took care of mine. That right there makes you a mother in my eyes. I hope this doesn't upset you or anything, but I wanted to wish you happy mothers day, and thank you for everything you have done. You are a very strong and willing person. I love you and miss you. ttyl girl
Anyways, I guess I better go round up some dinner for Keith. Don't want him wasting away to nothing... (Imagine me here with a smirk and well timed eye roll.)
ALSO: Whoever is google searching my blog, my stats show what search led you here. Bookmark my site. It helps. Oh, and you're spelling my last name wrong. It's Mathews, with one T. I am flattered, though.
Friday, May 6, 2011
(Not So) Happy Mother's Day
Sunday is Mother's Day, and I have to admit that I'm not looking forward to it.
I have no babies.
I have no mother.
What more is there to say?
And on top of that, Keith says we're not going to Anahuac to visit with family because I have my doctor's appointment on Tuesday in Beaumont, and that's halfway there. We can't spend all of that money for gas. I know that we can't. But I really want to. I'm almost in tears because I had myself convinced that spending the day with my sister and my mom's best friend outside of immediate family (Keith's mom) would make me feel better. Not that anyone has a full and complete understanding of what I'm going through and feeling, but at least there would've been mindless chatter to fill my brain.
But now I'll probably spend the day feeling sad, empty, and alone.
I have no babies.
I have no mother.
What more is there to say?
And on top of that, Keith says we're not going to Anahuac to visit with family because I have my doctor's appointment on Tuesday in Beaumont, and that's halfway there. We can't spend all of that money for gas. I know that we can't. But I really want to. I'm almost in tears because I had myself convinced that spending the day with my sister and my mom's best friend outside of immediate family (Keith's mom) would make me feel better. Not that anyone has a full and complete understanding of what I'm going through and feeling, but at least there would've been mindless chatter to fill my brain.
But now I'll probably spend the day feeling sad, empty, and alone.
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
Mostly Good
I enjoyed our weekend, mostly. Saturday we drove to Anahuac. I went to a friend's wedding party thingy while Keith went fishing with his mom and step dad. Then later a big group of us went out to the bar down the street to shoot pool. I was really proud and surprised because Keith's step dad went out with us! That's so impressive for him because he's like borderline agoraphobic. He hadn't gone past his front porch in over a month. But we ended up having a great time all around, and may go back this weekend for Mother's Day (which is a whole blog post in itself, but I'll save it for later).
Had a bad time when someone I thought was a friend turned out not to be one. All because Osama Bin Laden died. How weird is that? Basically I posted an FB status that said that it's good that he's dead but the war isn't over. This girl's marine fiance jumped all over my ass for it, why I don't know. I got upset and said as much. She asked me specifically why. So I explained why his comment upset me and she freaked the eff out and said that I was attacking him and that I'm so negative and bringing them down all the time. Then she deleted me as a friend. AND THEN she sent me a message telling me that I "don't deserve or need a baby with such an awful attitude." The craziest thing about it? She's always commenting on my blog telling me how much she loves it, coming to me for advice on stuff, and telling me how much I've helped her for different reasons. I don't really know what to think of this about-face.
Maybe I am negative, but a lot of bad shit has happened in my life. And not only that, but something is up with my health that makes me feel like total dog crap most days. I'm sorry if I'm not perfect and sunshiny and happy all the time, but who is? I have a right to post/say/think whatever I want, and if someone doesn't like it, they don't have to read it. But I guess the moral of this story is "bitchez be trippin."
Oh, I also disabled anonymous comments. So there.
Did I already tell you guys that I have blood work/pap/lumpy breast exam on May tenth? I might have. But I'm so ready for it, so it's on my mind. I almost want them to find something with the blood work, that way I can get treatment and start to feel better. Is that wrong? Crazy? Totally fucked up?
Wanna know something? A friend on Twitter is buying a house and it's making me want one so much more than usual. Not only because how awesome would that be, but because foster parenting and/or foster to adopt programs have really been on my mind lately. Like a lot. It's something that I could really see us doing in the near-ish future. We would try to go through the state, since we meet almost all of their requirements. All we need is a bigger place to live and their required classes/training. I'm totally up for it. I'd love to help kids and families who need it. The weird part is that the other day we were in the bread truck and I heard a radio commercial for a foster to adopt program. I've never heard a radio advertisement for something like that. I'm telling you, it's a sign that we need to do this! Plus having a house would be cool because then we could get a puppy, and who doesn't love puppies?
I was totally gonna blog yesterday, but our DSL got all messed up somehow. But now it's fixed, and it was free of charge. Hopefully I'll continue writing on a more regular basis, but I really have no idea.
Anyways, that's all for now. See you guys later.
Had a bad time when someone I thought was a friend turned out not to be one. All because Osama Bin Laden died. How weird is that? Basically I posted an FB status that said that it's good that he's dead but the war isn't over. This girl's marine fiance jumped all over my ass for it, why I don't know. I got upset and said as much. She asked me specifically why. So I explained why his comment upset me and she freaked the eff out and said that I was attacking him and that I'm so negative and bringing them down all the time. Then she deleted me as a friend. AND THEN she sent me a message telling me that I "don't deserve or need a baby with such an awful attitude." The craziest thing about it? She's always commenting on my blog telling me how much she loves it, coming to me for advice on stuff, and telling me how much I've helped her for different reasons. I don't really know what to think of this about-face.
Maybe I am negative, but a lot of bad shit has happened in my life. And not only that, but something is up with my health that makes me feel like total dog crap most days. I'm sorry if I'm not perfect and sunshiny and happy all the time, but who is? I have a right to post/say/think whatever I want, and if someone doesn't like it, they don't have to read it. But I guess the moral of this story is "bitchez be trippin."
Oh, I also disabled anonymous comments. So there.
Did I already tell you guys that I have blood work/pap/lumpy breast exam on May tenth? I might have. But I'm so ready for it, so it's on my mind. I almost want them to find something with the blood work, that way I can get treatment and start to feel better. Is that wrong? Crazy? Totally fucked up?
Wanna know something? A friend on Twitter is buying a house and it's making me want one so much more than usual. Not only because how awesome would that be, but because foster parenting and/or foster to adopt programs have really been on my mind lately. Like a lot. It's something that I could really see us doing in the near-ish future. We would try to go through the state, since we meet almost all of their requirements. All we need is a bigger place to live and their required classes/training. I'm totally up for it. I'd love to help kids and families who need it. The weird part is that the other day we were in the bread truck and I heard a radio commercial for a foster to adopt program. I've never heard a radio advertisement for something like that. I'm telling you, it's a sign that we need to do this! Plus having a house would be cool because then we could get a puppy, and who doesn't love puppies?
I was totally gonna blog yesterday, but our DSL got all messed up somehow. But now it's fixed, and it was free of charge. Hopefully I'll continue writing on a more regular basis, but I really have no idea.
Anyways, that's all for now. See you guys later.
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