Back at Square One.

Yep. Here we are. I talked to my sister a little more.

She isn't going to be our surrogate after all. Probably not our egg donor either. I may not need DE anyways though.

The point is that we're right back where we were when we first found out we'd likely need a surrogate. (Side note: was that really only a couple of weeks ago? It feels like a lifetime already.) After she thought about it some more, she remembered how tough her pregnancy with Bella Grace was. Early labor, bed rest, frequent bladder and UTI infections. She said maybe in a few years.

I can't say I blame her after all of that, but I'm We're still really disappointed. We've already waited a few years. We're ready. I'd never seen Keith so ready. I'm not sure if he'll bottle all of that up again or not, but I'm reassured just knowing that he might actually want this as much as I do. I mean, I know he does. He just doesn't show it like I do.

So. What next? First, we need more money. Second, I need a hysteroscopy and something done about these huge ovarian cysts. Aspiration, maybe? Then it's all about finding our surrogate and going with the process from there.

Did I mention money? Lots of money? Because yeah, that. Does anyone have several tens of thousands of dollars laying around?  Or maybe you know someone who wants to be my baby mama for next to nothing?

Yeah. Me neither.