"Horrible Things"

Well guys, it's over. Kerri left us. She packed up the kids, all their stuff, every last thing that was donated, and even some toys and things that belonged to me, and made her getaway while we were working yesterday. She left a note, but I threw it away, and since I was in hysterics I don't really remember what it said. Something about she "had to go back" and she "couldn't bear to see the look on our faces when she said goodbye." But I'll come back to that in a minute.

If I'm being completely honest here, both Keith and I were/are devastated. How could she do this to us? Sure, we had our bumpy days, but I thought over all it was going well. Not to mention the kids were doing great. Learning things and developing and hitting milestones, getting the proper nutrition and the things they needed in a loving, violence free home. A crowded home, yes. But still a pretty damn good one, if you ask me (or basically anyone else who knows Kerri and Berto as a couple).

Not to mention the mental and financial stress this was putting on us. I only mentioned to her one time about how broke we were since they came to live with us, even though it was astonishingly broke. But we did it gladly, because we knew that we were doing something really good for them. How could this not be good, we thought. Well, apparently it was awful. For her anyways.

Also? It seems that I have said "horrible things" about her and was "talking shit." Where? Well here, I suppose. But really, what have I said that isn't the truth? I'll tell you: Nothing. Everything I've posted about her in the past three weeks has been completely true. Keith made a good point today. If the truth seems horrible, then it probably is. Maybe somebody needs to re-examine her life if she thinks what I've said is horrible. And trust me, there are more "horrible" things I could post. Like how she's always hitting/pinching Jon. Or calling him a motherfucker, or something similar. How she gets frustrated when the baby cries and tells her to shut up or that she's tired of her. Maybe that sounds horrible too. But it's all 100% truth. I've seen it with my own eyes, and so has Keith.

And now for the note. First of all, a note? She couldn't call? She couldn't just tell us that she wanted to go back? Sure, we still would've been really pissed off and upset, but we wouldn't have been able to stop her, and it would've been nice to at least say goodbye to the kids that we had come to love and adore like our own. But no. I'm pretty sure that not being "able to stand the look on our faces when she said goodbye" meant "I'm leaving while you're at work so you can't stop me from taking all of this stuff." Yes, that's mean. But it's how she is. It's how she always has been.

And when she said "I had to go back" I'm assuming she meant "I love having the shit beat out of me." Because that will not stop happening. And although it's really mean, next time it happens I'm not doing a thing to help her. Why should I? She was nothing but ungrateful. She hurt and betrayed us beyond what a sister should do. She used us. The note also said that she hopes I can forgive her. Well I can't. Not right now. I just hope and pray that the babes will be ok and that maybe in spite of their home they will continue to flourish.

So, if you think I'm mean or horrible, well then you're probably Kerri. If you think my feelings are justified, then you're probably anybody else on Earth.