How are you guys? Good? Good. Me? Not so much.
I've been MIA for a few days, I know. I'm kind of in the middle of a mental breakdown.
Basically my life is a mess, and it has always been a mess. One giant shitfest. And yes, there's a lot going on right now, but I wouldn't say that's the cause of it. Not at all. This mess is more like the last straw.
What do I mean by that? Well, I'm at a point where I can no longer handle everyday things anymore. For instance, today Keith ate the top few fries off of my chili cheese fries. The ones with all the cheese. I got mad and threw the rest of them out the window. Also, while in the checkout at Walmart, I saw a dad playing with his little son and almost started bawling. Both things that normally would not be a big deal, but I just lost it.
I'm so tired of thinking. So tired of having emotions. I cry just about every day. I try really hard not to. I try to avoid thinking of things that will upset me. I'm trying really hard to be a normal person right now, but nothing is working. I've tried reaching out to people for help, but honestly nothing they are saying is helping. Not that they aren't trying. It's just that none of it has been what I need to hear. Hell, I don't even know exactly what it is I need to hear, so how could they?
Depression and stress and anxiety are not new to me. But I think this time will be the time when I finally seek professional help. I can't do this on my own anymore.
I went through the same thing. After I went to the doctor about it, I wondered why in the hell I waited so long to ask for help. There's comfort in knowing that someone is going to help you not feel like you're losing it anymore. Hang in there sweetie. You have so much going on. You need to stop and take care of yourself. You're a strong woman and you're going to be just fine. I'll keep you in my prayers. Big big hugs! xxx
ReplyDeleteYou are going through so much right now. And it would be a lot for anyone to handle and therefore you have a right to a breakdown once in a while. But I agree, seeking outside guidance would help. Someone who isn't familiar with your situation and can give you unbiased, professional help. Please let me know if there's anything I can do to help. I'm not trained, but I am outside the scope of your real life and have a good ability to listen.
ReplyDeleteIm going through anxiety treatment right now. I tried not to use medicine as the answer but its been really helpful. The Doc prescribed me Lexapro, and it made me kinda nausious at first but now Im back to normal. I feel normal too.
ReplyDeleteHugs, my dear. I've been looking for someone to talk to, as well. The issues I'm dealing with are not the same, but I still need a place to vent and get some professional feedback. Emotional issues can be even more debilitating than physical ones, so don't be ashamed or nervous about seeking help. I wish you all the best in this journey! You have our support.
ReplyDeleteHugs. It sounds trite, but recognizing you're not okay is the first step to getting better. I hope you figure out what works for you. Hugs again.
ReplyDeleteThank you all for your comments. It means a lot to know that I have so much support and that I'm not alone. My doctor prescribed 20mg Prozac a day. This morning was my first dose, and I think taking it at night would be better because I'm extremely tired and out of it, even after a 2 hour nap earlier. <3 you guys!
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