Finding It Difficult

I am tired. Exhausted. All the time. Even if I haven't done anything that day. I think it's just because I have so much going on. Helping with the route and my job and trying to get stuff done around the house. (That last one? Yeah, not going so well actually.)

My job is really easy. Almost anyone can do it. So what's the problem? I think my problem is that I hate people. I'm tired of dealing with morons. It really stresses me out to have to fake nice all day, especially when I'm having a terrible day already. I know that you probably think I'm being selfish, but think about it. When you're having a bad day, you just want people to leave you alone, right? Right. You just want to go about your business so that you can go home and eat ice cream while wearing sweat pants. Or play video games while wearing sweat pants. Or get drunk while wearing sweat pants. Or do just about anything, so long as you can wear sweat pants. I know. I know the feeling. But my job involves having to interact with people constantly. And let me tell you, it's tiring to have to be nice and cheerful for hours when you just want those idiots to shut up and go away. Also, stressful.

For a part time job that only pays minimum wage, it should really not be taking such a toll on me, but it is. I think it might be time for me to do something new. Don't get me wrong, most of the people I work with are great. I just need a change. Something that's full time. Or something that at least pays more. Also, maybe something where I don't have to deal with customers as much. I think that would help a whole lot. I did a bit of looking online and I'm interested in trying to get a job with Texas Parks and Wildlife. There's a statewide position open for clerks at state parks. The closest one is Martin Dies, Jr. State Park. Not sure if this particular park is hiring, or if they are what kind of hours they're offering. Either way the pay is at LEAST $1.50 more than what I'm making now, $3 more at the most. I'll probably look into the application process later on. If, and only if, I get an interview, I'll start letting my boss know. But putting in an application really doesn't mean anything anyways. No guarantees.

Today is day 9 of Provera. That means tomorrow is my last! And then the wait for my period will be ON. I'm at cycle day 92 today. That means that my last period started 92 days ago. That's way too long.

Also, did 30 minutes of cardio on the gazelle today. I don't think I'm quite ready to get back into my ab workout yet. Maybe in a couple of days. I'm ashamed and embarrassed to say that I've gained 15 pounds since October. Stop looking at me like that. You can thank PCOS for helping me gain that weight back. And the worst part? It's all in my stomach! So I look pregnant, but it's just fat. Fatty fat fat. That's really depressing. I also think that working out again might help improve my mood. It's worth a shot, right?

Anyways, I think that I'm gonna go relax in a nice hot bath. I feel like I earned it!