Crap on Toast

So I started the blanket for baby Andrew. But I didn't like it so I started over. And now I don't like how it's starting to look, so I'll probably have to unravel half of it and try again. But in my defense, I haven't crocheted in like 5 years. So suck it.

Ok, I've known Keith literally for my entire life (most of it, anyways). And I know this is weird, but I've known for a long time that Keith was the one for me. Like since I was 12. I used to fantasize that someday we would get married. And get naked together. And now all of that has come true. (12 year old me was a dirty, dirty pervert.) We will have been a couple for two years this October.

It really bothers me when people tell me "Oh, I know how you feel. It took us 3 whole months to conceive our child." Really bitch? Three months? Let's try 2 years. In the two years we've been together, we've probably used a condom 3 times. TMI, I know, but I'm trying to make a point here. What I'm saying is that in two years of passionate, sweaty, delicious baby making, we have yet to make an actual baby. So I guess you could just call it sex. Whichever. So I don't want to hear you piss and moan about 3 months. Cuz that ain't shit to me, honey.

But Keith is very supportive, even though I'm going crazy with worry. Like what the hell could possibly be preventing me to have a child? How is it fair that everyone else in my family is super fertile and I'm the lonely little bug, all alone in my infertility corner? It's not fair. And sometimes I get irritated with God about it. But I also pray for Him to help us reach our goals and blah blah blah. But it's kind of hard to pray to a being that keeps putting you through shit. But I'm really trying to keep faith. Doesn't always work, but you can't appreciate the good things without the bad I guess.

And so I'm off. Gotta get back to doing nothing at work and thinking about what to make for dinner and if aliens are real and if maybe one day I'll crochet a shitty blanket for my own fat baby.