No Offense, But...

Probably the worst way to start a sentence, since pretty much everything after that phrase will somehow be offensive. And yet I start my blog post with it anyways. Go figure.

No offense, but I'm tired of whining. From myself and everyone else. I realize that infertility is full of woe and jealousy. But seriously. Fertile women probably wanted children as much as we do at one point. Fact of the matter is, they just got lucky faster than we did. Sure, there are tons of women posting pregnancy/birth announcements on Facebook/Twitter/Whatever social media you use. But did we ever stop to think that maybe they had a tough time achieving their goal? Did we ever stop to think that maybe they yearned for the bond between mother and child as much as we do? No. Probably not, anyways. We're too wrapped up in our own seething jealousy, brokenheartedness, and resentment to wonder about how the lucky ladies got where they are now. Maybe it took So-and-So 6 months, no problems, to get pregnant. Maybe it took her a year plus 2 failed IUIs. Yes, some of them get REALLY lucky and got knocked up on the first try.

But the fact of the matter is that we have no idea. So maybe it's not fair for some of us to act the way we do when someone announces the good news. Maybe they've been trying just as hard or just as long as we have, and have been extremely secretive. We won't know unless we ask. And the saddest part is that most of us are too consumed by our own misery to allow ourselves to get excited with someone else or rejoice with them.

Maybe one of the biggest parts of dealing with infertility is to open ourselves to others. How can we heal the hurt within ourselves if we don't allow anyone to come into our lives to support us? How can we expect anyone to be super excited with us when we finally do become pregnant if we don't confide in anyone but our spouse/significant other? We can't. I'm not saying we should shout out our infertility problems from the rooftops, but sharing your story with your peers can really be helpful. The more they are exposed to situations such as ours, the more sensitive they will become. Opening up isn't hard once you get started, and you'd be surprised by how many people will come forward to share their own stories, which is very healing in itself.

Notice how I said "we" throughout this post. I'm not above bouts of jealousy and sadness, and pity on those who think they are. Infertility is a very emotional subject. But I've learned that with open communication and educating my peers, it's easier to deal with on a day to day basis.